Is Self Love or Self Loathing Motivating Your Prosperity?

Written by Bobbie Clark-Alexander, M.Ed., MA-HSC, B.S., 2/11/20 6pmCT

Real Self Love Promotes Prosperity!

In one of my previous blogs I shared my journey after divorce on how I began my life again. The most valuable part of the process was self-realization. I lost myself in that marriage and was living someone else’s surface world. I had to find my way back to me. When people do not know who they are and operating in self-hate or loathing, they will destroy your life because they operate in a surface and exterior life. When we do not live, mature, and develop from the inside out, our existence is the surface with no depth. Mostly caring about the way we look to people and not caring about the ones we are using to create the facade. A surface mind can destroy those they are in relationship with who love them. The process took many years. It was a 16 year marriage and it almost took that much time to get me back. However, I surpassed where I was before. I was able to find my way back after self-awareness. Additionally, a double masters, and 90% completion of a MBA to help make myself over. Recently, just a little over a year ago I held a workshop where I was able to get 5 individuals in a meeting room of 25 in attendance to believe in my business venture and invest nearly $30K in less than 30 minutes. Wow! The internal work gave me courage, caused the real Bobbie to stand up in a non-conventional way, boldness to step outside of traditional capitalist mindset and diversify investment models, and increase my value and worth. Do not misunderstand and think I’m against capitalism because it is not true. The thing I love most about capitalism is that the state isn’t suppose to be a part of it. Free Enterprise for small entrepreneurs like myself and great private sector corporations can do what we want to a large degree. However, regulations by governmental agencies controls the mindset of those with money to invest. Mindset is everything!!! Our freedom in commerce must reflect the nation’s next economic fallout around the globe that will impact every money center in the world. What is your safeguard to have something outside of the system? Smart ideas are inside of all of us, but if we don’t want to self reflect to get past the pain, our uniqueness is never realized keeping us bound to self loathing and hurting others for our prosperity. We can now see the uncontrollable 1% and this is only the beginning. The way I did the presentation defied everything I had ever seen. The ideal was in my head and I thoroughly explained it on a dry erase board in black and white. No handouts, but was able to answer any question asked by potential investors. I was only 5 minutes into my presentation before the largest investor, an alpha male in attendance with his wife verbally announced he was IN. People who have worked hard, know how this world really works can see real people. My self-love increased and made me stronger, more believable and trusting to others who are able to trust. Everyone isn’t capable or able to trust and love others. Surface people do not trust anyone outside of a traditional capitalist modelling because the gray area is non-existent in his/her cognition. Real self-love promotes prosperity and nurtures you to Not knocking Wall Street or Capitalism, just saying switch it up a little!

When a person can inwardly look at themselves and see the good, but also see whats not so good qualities, it’s a cognitive resolve begins to desire ones best self, intentional thinking begins. As humans, we think a thing before acting out a thing. It is the moment in life when there is a real awareness and/or awakening which occurs promoting the desire to go deep within to discover one’s reason for existence. That instant moment of care causes an awakening which begins one’s journey to real self-love thereby promotes prosperity because of the courage to face truth head-on. Prosperity is a by-product of self-awareness. Knowledge is power! When we are aware of our true selves, the next thought in progression is the question of why am I here? Prosperity can be represented in many forms and self-realization and awareness leads the pack. Self awareness and realization brings a joy and peace that a surface materially rich person may never experience. Mark Twain, puts it like this …….“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” A real sense of existence causes self-love because the “Why” is answered.

So many people are unhappy and miserable because their “Why” hasn’t been answered, or that they are afraid to go deep to search out the “Why” and remain living a surface life which is very unfulfilling behind the closed doors. Self love encourages alone time with peace and joy. Even more satisfying is that self-love encourages maximized fruitful relationships with others.

Self Loathing Can Also Promote Prosperity!Self Hate Is the Most Powerful Motivational Tool argues “Self-hatred is like chemotherapy. It always feels terrible, and in the wrong dose, it can destroy you from the inside, cause you too much pain to move, and can even kill you.” But, Penney exclaims that the right dosage of chemo can absolutely save your life. These behaviors usually come through individuals who bully others (includes adult bullies) and/or narcissistic individuals. Self loathing narcs target individuals as significant others who are smarter than they are, stronger, kinder, and more loving. The reason for choosing these type mates is because these are the only individuals who will make excuses for them and tolerate their behavior by stroking their ego and loving them in spite of their behavior, thinking they will get better. The narc will pay for the look of what he wants to make him look superior to anyone. They will buy the house, high-end cars, pictures of the children, demand sex and all domestics from wife and refused to be questioned on anything he does not approve. In other words, the female mate cannot have a real voice. In the narcs mind, the self loathing individual is driven and motivated to prove daily that they are more superior than everyone around them so they work hard to be the best in their field or profession, usually at the cost of hurting and oppressing everyone who loves them. The way a narc shows love is through things!!! The mate is somewhat of a hired hand or property that he says he loves but does not. Joy, peace, and self-love is basically none existent in the self loather. But money, outward appearance, certain associations, and relationships which make them feel important are purely motivated by self loathing and self-hatred wanting to look like the king or queen. Do you know anyone like that? Here’s a thought, why not change self loathing into self-love?

What is your prosperity motivated by?

When we love ourselves giving and helping others is not a struggle. Biblically speaking …….give and it shall be given unto you……(Luke 6:38). In other words, self-love brings on a real sense of thankfulness and gratitude. Self-hatred believes that they are the source where everyone should give to them because they have convinced themselves they are the little god, king, or queen that everyone should honor. Deciding to gain prosperity in self-love causes goodness and uncommon favor to run towards and after you. Self love is the place where we can accept ourselves for who we are, the good and not so good parts of us. Everyone has their personal demon(s) that must be acknowledged and faced. That place of hurt, shame, and trauma is not too powerful for a sovereign God and well equipped therapist and life coach. A narcissistic self-hatred takes the therapeutic of the natural sciences and the faith-based of the true existence of good and evil. Otherwise, a real sense of joy and peace will never be realized in our lives. The global culture we currently live in dictates for a true self-awareness. Civility, social awareness, racial disenfranchisement are outwardly oppressive in the news daily from around the globe. Wars and sabotage of entire governments. Chemical and viral attacks on populated communities of entire cities and countries. Immoral leadership, economic instability mostly caused by pseudo dealings and transactions perpetuate control of outcomes that will one day have a real fallout and impact on so many lives. Being self-aware of who we are and our life purpose is critical in the year 2020 and beyond. A solid sense of self is a high-priced commodity worth investing in by every individual who can understand this short blog at some level. It is time to get the help you need to establish mental and emotional soundness. Everyone needs someone to check in with at least a couple of times a month.The new normal in this nation seems to dictate it is okay to be cunning, irrational, and even being a social derelict as long as you get the deal and prosper. When it comes back to those with the dark mindsets, all the rules change. Let’s all do our part and address emotional and mental soundness in our family, friends, and loved ones.

Sometimes We Need Help to Self-Reflect Lasting Prosperity

Bobbie is a Life Coach, Mentor, and Author. See bio and testimonials on landing page of past and current clients who have received help to dig deep and prosper in all things. She operates in non-conventional ways to get the needed outcomes to meet the signs of the times. Currently, Bobbie is working with individuals under her new project “The Boss-Up Series” to help working professionals break free of secret self loathing living in leadership capacities. Bobbie has placed confidentially at the epic top of her services to protect her leadership clients. She realizes and has a passion for those hiding behind the mask of pain and shame, unable to live in prosperity in peace and joy without secret suffering and hurting others. Two of Bobbie’s sayings are, “Hurting people hurt people!” and “When we know better we flow better!” If this blog has helped you in some way, please let us know below in the comment feedback section. Or, if your concern is of personal nature please email Bobbie at Share with those who may benefit from this blog and search past blogs here on this site.


Self-Hate Is The Most Powerful Motivational Tool By Will Penney, November 23rd 2015

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