Emotional mental hits are real and occur everyday in our lives whether we are cognizant of them or not.
Oct 3, 2019 by Bobbie Clark-Alexander
I remember about eight years ago my daughter was about to graduate from high school and the realization that my quality of life was about to change as I prepared to send her to college was then staring me in the face. We had lived a middle class life before divorce happened — house in suburban New Orleans, two Benz in the driveway, 2 children, fish in the bowl, no dog. However, I found myself barely scraping the level of upper working class, divorced, working outside the home as an educator (single mom friendly job) as well as home office–the kitchen table where I did accounting work when I got home from work. Sold my Benz for a 10-year-old Honda for practicality, had already began matriculation of my double masters knowing I needed to upgrade my worth and marketability in the workforce if I planned to live upper middle class or better again. The best thing about this season was my apartment home. It was gated, extremely appealing to the eye upon entry, actually reminded me of a resort with the stones and waterfalls out front, 1700sqft the size of a small home with all the modern crown molding and ceramic flooring, and garden tubs. Home and shelter was the most important to me because a beautiful, safe clean environment fostered peace in my new life dynamic.
However, once counting up the cost to send my daughter to school with in spite of scholarships, loans, we both working I still would no longer be able to afford the current property I was leasing. Though I was not happy about it I chalked up the decision to down grade apartments as a responsible decision and that we would be fine. Life happens!
The moving weekend came and everything could not fit in the new apartment so a storage had to be leased. By that Sunday morning everything was out of the old apartment. I woke up in the new smaller apartment realizing I had to go and secure the old apartment and make sure it was left clean and return the keys to the leasing office for a full deposit refund. As I finished vacuuming and did my last walk through to be sure everything was clear and clean, an emotional demolition ball hit me all of a sudden. I fell to the floor sobbing and heartbroken, sad and overwhelmed. What was that?
That was a pile up in my brain, all the realities that I had convinced myself that I could handle manifested in my cognition with emotional manifestation.
Counseling or Life Coaching? or Life Coaching & Counseling?
I had sought emotional counseling before, during, and after my divorce. However, no one told me I would need life coaching to understand my daily change in life dynamics. Those practical things I needed to understand that would change my total trajectory of life. Wow!!! If I had had a life coach I probably could have figured out a way to stay in my gated community where I felt a safe peace. I have great faith in God, but also wisdom to understanding that I get what I pay for and could make demands as well about my environment and get things done if I paid the right price. Home has always been my safe place.
You see there is a brain function in our brain emotional limbic system called the amygdala which cares only about safety and security. It can create a false sense of danger in a heartbeat. That is what happened in that moment when I felt like an emotional wrecking ball knock me to my knees in my old apartment. I did not feel safe in the down graded apartment environment and it hit me at that very moment when I saw the old apartment empty of all my furnishings and had woke up in the new apartment. Reality hit, this was happening and it is REAL! Emotional mental hits are real and must be attended to by some type of mental health professional and/or life coach.
Some of my life coaching clients find out they have much deeper psychological issues then my scope covers where pharmaceuticals and the management of them may be needed so I recommend different services that may better meet their dynamics. However, before they leave me, most of their counseling and life coaching needs inside my scope have been met. In that way the medical psychiatrist, psychologist or therapist they move on to can go right in and pick up at a healthy place of self-realization with the client giving way to amazingly deeper and productive psychoanalysis sessions and diagnosis.
If there are emotional behaviors that manifest when certain daily events happen there is mostly likely unresolved life issues or events needing professional counseling and/or life coaching. In my story I just shared, life coaching was necessary and needed for me. I could have had a totally different outcome.
This life event is the thing that propelled me to become a counselor and life coach to skillfully with great passion to help so many people with great impact and resolve.
Now that you see what an impact that life coaching with me will have on your life and business, let’s get you on my schedule for your Select Elite Session, a 6 hour life changing experience.
Bobbie Clark-Alexander, M.Ed., MA-HSC, BS
Life Coach | Counselor | Author | Lecturer
Select Elite Coaching and Counseling Services, LLC
Atlanta, GA / North Louisiana
Bobbie will be open for new counseling and coaching clients the entire month of October. Please email if you are interested. Services range from $250 – $10K